Leave Your Needs at the Door

A good relationship enriches and enhances your life. Whether you can attract and create an enriching relationship partly depends on what you think a relationship will do for you.

There are two approaches to creating relationships. Some people want a relationship in order get their needs met. These individuals tend to have a long list of needs they are not meeting anywhere else, and want met when they connect with a partner.

Unfortunately, approaching a relationship to get your needs met tends to attract partners who require you to give up or alter some part of you.

In such a relationship, you may be told you are loved only when you are on your "best" behavior. You may be required to take care of your partner either financially or emotionally in exchange for the continuation of the relationship. You may be asked to put up with unacceptable behavior in order to continue to get your needs met.

People who have the good fortune of creating good relationships enter into relationships with their needs already met, for the sole purpose of enrichment.

In such a relationship, you are free to be yourself. Because you are being yourself, you grow and expand in ways that are good for you. Even in compromise, you learn skills that bring about growth. While being fully yourself, you are more likely to communicate fully and do not have to monitor or control your behavior. Your best attributes are brought out and highlighted. If your partner exhibits unacceptable behavior, you are in a position to ask him or her to instead be the best he or she can be.

It's your choice. You can wait until you get your needs met through your partner and sacrifice important aspects of yourself. Or, you can take stock of your needs now and get them met. You will then be ready to attract a partner who will enrich your life, so that both of you can expand and grow in love.

Which one will you pick?

Want to know which needs are good to bring to the relationship and which needs you should leave at the door? Watch for an upcoming class on just this subject.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

"(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

[Home]    - Contact Us  Be sure you use all the dating tips you can find when doing the DIY matchmaking.
Voice and video chat sites are recommended.